So this week has been quite a good week all round we have had a few blips but what’s life without a few blips 🙂
BBG has now pretty much perfected rolling 🙂 she still has to think carefully and only 5% of the time gets to where she wants to be but still she is rolling well! We were getting very very worried.
We did have occupational and physical therapy this week however I was at work unfortunately but dad took BBG. She didn’t move for a while and was extremely floppy. She did eventually decide to co operate but it took a while apparently. I had written out a list of questions to ask, a list of things that I couldn’t remember if it was normal for a baby or not. Also, my biggest one was the fact that BBG has started to randomly scream in pain. It’s horrible to hear and you can’t do anything for her. I didn’t know if this was due to the therapy, maybe we were doing it wrong, or she was getting aches like we do following a day at the gym. The physio however advised it wasn’t normal, that this was probably because she genuinely was in pain and until we learn what is wrong we can’t really help her. We also got the general answer of we don’t know for the other questions so it doesn’t really help ease our thoughts but has reminded us BBG is not normal and we aren’t imagining things. She is progressing though, she splashed in the bath for the first time ever, in fact she moved for the first time ever in the bath! 9 months of nothing and then a splash! I never thought I’d be so happy that a child is splashing in the bath.
New exercise to start getting her to crawl, a wonderful foam roller from physioroom.com. This is extremely tiring however and she can only do it for the tiniest amount of time but she will get stronger.
MO has been keeping me up a lot recently, I don’t know what is going through his head or what has unsettled him. He gets up every night and I can hear him wandering but he only comes in to wake me when he is truely unsettled.
Monday while I was at work I missed a phone call, he had had an incident. Dad had sorted it initially but on the way home from work the school rang, mo needed to be picked up now. We picked him up and took him home. He stayed in his dark den, wrapped in the fibre optics and cried. He seems to understand he goes into meltdowns and I can’t tell if he is scared of these or what, but he calls himself the real life hulk, one minute cool as anything the next big, mad, green and angry.
I don’t know what to say to the school when they call to say he has thrown tables and chairs. I always say I’m sorry while on the phone but I don’t know if that’s right? I mean what’s the protocol when your autistic son has a meltdown? I know a lot of people don’t realise autism can be portrayed in various ways. Some are very shy and withdrawn, some are the complete opposite. MO is violent with his, he is such a funny, beautiful nature boy then out of no where a meltdown can happen and whack I have got a bleeding nose. I am still so new to it all I don’t really know what to do on his meltdown days. To be honest until I have calmed him down I am not in the state of mind to apologise straight away.
Tuesday he then spent on exclusion from class as a repercussion of his actions. And then yesterday I’m back at work and get a text from dad. ‘MO had fallen off the monkey bars, expect a cast.’ Turns out MO has broken his arm in 2 places very badly. Thankfully the way they broke actually means he doesn’t need an operation. It has shaken him up a lot and he has a cast right up to his under arm (just what you need in an active boy right before May half term).
We did send him to school today as the hospital said physically he can be at school, with all the reports on absences etc I pushed for him to go to school. I was always told better to be sent home then not to go in at all. Well 15 minutes into the school day and he has been sent home until his fibreglass cast gets put on next Friday. Another punch to the gut as dad had said don’t bother sending him in and I pushed.
MO came in with dad from hospital and just burst out crying when he saw me. He did sit on my lap though and let me give him a squeeze.
I just feel like I am failing at everything motherhoodwise. BG is back to not eating and crying all the time, she just shuts herself away in her room most days. Dad and I are at our wits end not knowing what to do. SB is just at the very challenging age, he is just such hard work. He isn’t naughty as such it’s the whinging. I hate using that word but it’s the only word I can think of. He is still whinging and crying even when we say yes… I just don’t know what is wrong… well I do know what’s wrong everything in the house although is calm you chip away a little and bang there’s the stress and anxiety. It seems kids have this 6th sense that can sniff out your underlying emotions.
I don’t know what to do. I usually have a plan for everything but I just don’t have one at the moment.
O and to top it off we have ants in the house! Can we find the nest? Of course not! such an annoying thing to have in the house but probably more annoyed by it as at the moment it’s the only thing I can legitimately be annoyed at.