A letter to my children

My dearest BG and SB,

I am so thankful to you. I am so amazed by your love and selflessness when it comes to MO and BBG and I don’t give you enough credit.

Everyday you have to put up with having to be second to BBG and MOs needs. You watch as I have to spend time with MO to calm him down which can take over an hour, you watch as I have to do physio and feed BBG for what seems like hours per day.

You watch us as we go into our room and come out with red eyes from crying, you understand when I’m reading a report and say ‘please go play in your rooms for a minute’ you don’t argue you just go. When you return you always give a hug as if you know I had just read the words I didn’t want to read.

You have seen your parents broken by news parents never want to hear, and listen as we explain BBG may never walk or crawl, you respond with ‘what physio can we do to make her crawl’ your determined all of you are and it’s amazing! Your the reason I stay positive as your so positive!

You get excited when BBG progresses and cheered so excitedly when she learnt to splash in the bath last month, yet you also see that she is so behind her cousins that are all younger, and you question why, you see her choke and gag on food and know to go and get a muslin. You don’t realise I do this so your out the room so I can get the situation less scary for you but you never question and you run.

Your days are the same every day, and it must seem like it’s MOs way all the time. I hear how you defend and help your brother. I hear when he starts to get frustrated you offer him your special things and ‘shhh’ him gently to get him to calm down.

I see your lives being so different to your friends. You ask to do certain things and I wish I could say yes to everything but sometimes that trip you want to do or that toy you want just can’t happen due to the other children. Yesterday you wanted to go to the park but MO was having a bad day and I wouldn’t have got him out the house let alone to the park and you didn’t shout or say it’s not fair you just simply replied ‘I understand’. You shouldn’t have to understand, that sentance broke my heart into a million pieces.

You are young carers and I wish you weren’t.

We try and treat you and spend 121 time with you but sometimes with appointments and work these days seems so far apart. I am sorry for this.

Just remember you are just as special, just as unique and just as loved.

I love the fact you now get dressed as soon as you get up SB and excitedly show me your outfit that you chose. I love watching you horse ride BBG and seeing your genuine smile as you go around trotting the love and happiness in your eyes is spectacular.

You guys make me and Dad so super proud! We may not say it enough, infact I know we don’t say it enough but you are amazing!

You don’t have to be so selfless, so caring towards your siblings but you are and for that I’m forever thankful.

I will always be here for you fighting your corner.

You are my everyday super heros!

Love you always


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