This week I got asked about potty training, this got me thinking.
When your pregnant, most people say about how hard newborns are, how hard it is adapting to having this new being in your world, but they don’t tell you how hard things are after the new born stage.
I’m not saying the new born stage isn’t bad, it is. Your bleeding like it’s going out of fashion, your hurt from either pushing a human being out of the tiniest hole imaginable, or being cut open and having a baby yanked out of your stomach. Then you leave hospital still hurting and are thrust into tiredness you have never experienced before. If your breastfeeding your boobs have swollen up like they have decided to compete with Barbie, and leak at the very mention of a baby. If your bottle feeding your constantly in a cycle of; wash, sterilise, make up milk, repeat. You have to deal with the black tar like poo that then evolves into a yellow korma looking poop. Your dealing with visitors who just get in the way. Your dealing with unwarranted advise about, feeding, sleeping, and breathing. Your dealing with a new element to your relationship with your partner. Your dealing with raging hormones. Adjusting to life with a new born sucks!!
However, all the newborn things people tend to mention, even if through a rose tinted, silver lining kinda way. Your expecting that hard time of not knowing what is going on, your preparing for the lack of sleep. The midwives and health visitors are still seeing you fairly regularly.
What happens after the new born stage, the stages where there are a few books but no one really mentions the shit time that goes with the books?
For example, weaning! There are tonnes of books out there, there are a few meathods, do you do baby lead weaning, purée or a mix of both? You think the questions and hardships end there…. think again. When your baby lead weaning, you shop excitedly around the shop, picking up a mixture of fruit and vegetables, bread sticks and fruit puffs. You get home you carefully cut everything into safe, manageable chunks, you sit your baby in the high chair and for the next half hour your baby just throws it on the floor. This does eventually subside and they do eventually start to eat it. With puréed food you buy all the organic pouches, you settle down to feed your baby, and your baby eats a few mouthfuls until s/he decides to blow bubbles so just basically spits food everywhere, or they decide they are finished and knock that spoon right out of your hand! One thing people never tell you about? The poop! Yellow milk poops are gross enough, the yellow poonami you thought was bad, just wait to the weaning poops. The baby is eating what you are eating, do you have nice yellow poops? Of course not. Your now wiping normal poop off your babies bum, when they have a dodgy tummy, yup guess who has to clean and wash the baby? You. At 3am on a tummy bug change you will be wishing to go back to the black tar!
Then you have potty training. I would trade potty training days with sleepless nights any day. I find potty training frustrating and I will be the first to put my hands up to this. I will be so calm however to the child as they are learning and it not their fault but wow it’s hard. You choose the potty, you and your child choose where to put the potty, you excitedly see that your child is doing the wee dance, you place them on the potty, stickers at the ready and after 10 minutes the child gets bored and gets you to put the clothes back on, 2 minutes later they are running around with poop or wee all over them! AHHHH!!! Then it’s the first journey out of the house, I still remember taking all the covers off of the car seats so many times due to the kids having an accident in the car, if you don’t take the car seat out carefully ending up with wee all over you haha!
No one tells you that for months you will be eagerly preparing your house with stair gates, safety plugs and de cluttering everywhere ready for when your baby gets mobile, only find out that your ‘baby safe’ house is not baby safe at all! Your baby will inevitably find that one thing that they will get stuck under or be able to reach that little bit higher then you thought. All those weeks and months of trying to get them to roll or crawl, once or twice you will think back to the days where they were unable to, especially when trying to get their nappy on.
Of course every stage has the bad moments, there are moments where you lock yourself away neatly wish they were back in your tummy, then the next minute you look over and their doing something amaZing and you just completely forget what ever ever was hard. At the moment, BG is answering us back a lot, MO has a lot of difficulties, SB has decided he wants to break everything he comes across and BBG well she is at the stage where I can’t leave the room without her screaming. I have heard of the teenage years and this scares me but I am sure when I am through them I will be looking back laughing.
I love seeing each stage even with the bad parts but I had to share my experiences. Raising a child is hard, each stage will bring up troubles, each stage will brin triumphs, just remember just because people don’t warn you about some of the hard parts doesn’t mean your alone when your stressing at clearing up yet more wee from a toddler who insisted they didn’t need the loo.
We are all just doing our best.