Tomorrow is BBG’s 1st birthday! As we approach this milestone it not only got me thinking back to my pregnancies, it got me thinking about what other things.
A lot of people stand mouth wide open when I utter a negative word about BBG. These negative words are nothing that another parent may say, for example, ‘what a terrible night, I must have only got 30 minutes sleep’ I usually get a ‘you should be grateful she is now crying’ sort of statement. Do not get me wrong, hearing my baby cry for the first time nearly had me in tears, to only hear a slight ‘mmmm’ sound when she was starving was horrible and concerning. Being up half the night and saying I had no sleep does not mean I am not grateful, it means I didn’t sleep last night
I celebrate everything my girl does; the little things like holding a toy in a different way, celebrating the fact she used her left leg for longer today, celebrating the fact she made noise longer then 5 minutes in total for a day. Just because I say I am frustrated at something doesn’t mean I am not grateful.
I found that even with the other 3 kiddies, the moment you utter a negative thing about your precious bundle of joy, people are quick to judge, they are quick to say your not grateful and that I should be thankful I even have children.
Saying to someone
wow they are really testing my patience today, I just need a 5 minute break
this does not mean I don’t love my children, it does not mean I can’t handle my children and it does not mean I am ungrateful for my children. It means they are being children and as a parent, like most parents, I am just needing to recollect my thoughts and start again.
Parenting disability or not, raising a child is hard work. Every parent has those times when they just need to vent, or just need to scream out at the world as they are exhausted. That doesn’t mean we are ungrateful, it means we are human.
At the end of the day, I know my baby girl isn’t well. I know my little girl is a mystery to all the consultants and I know every single day I worry about what she will regress in next.
She is also a normal baby, one that refuses to eat her puree, one that cries whenever I leave her, one that does stinky poos. I am just a normal mum, I am not a super mum, I can’t be positive at everything, I am not going to be positive when her poop has gone up her back for the 4th time due to the fact she has runny poops because of teething, I am going to moan a little. I am not going to be positive when she refuses to eat and I am not going to be positive when she keeps me awake all night as she wants to play.
I love my children, and I know how lucky I am to have them, but sometimes they can be little nightmares and that is fine to admit as I love them more then life itself, that is all that matters to me. So you can keep your gratitude statements to yourself.