Why milestone emails break my heart 

I got a milestone email today about what my baby should be doing at 14 months, it broke my heart.
Every month for about a week I get a milestone email from around 5 websites that I signed up to when I was pregnant. Every month I open it up, then go onto the different websites and read about each milestone my baby should be doing. I then cry as my baby isn’t doing it. 

I know she is globally delayed, I understand she is progressing at her own pace but for 3 weeks of the month I am living with my normal. I am living and believing all babies are at BBGs stage. Her delays are my new normal. We don’t go to toddler or baby groups at the moment as age wise she is too old but development wise she isn’t at the toddler group stage. So all I see is her. Then *ping* an email drops me back into reality. 

I do love reading these emails. I love to try and see if she is doing anything she’s meant to. So far it’s only been her teeth… but I still look in hope. I guess I also like to read them so I am not shocked when the doctors call her globally delayed… if I think she is normal then hearing she isn’t will just feel awful. 

Their a torture I can’t quite get of. I know my baby girl isn’t right, I know she is under GOSH for a reason but these milestone emails are my last piece of normality for my baby. It’s the last thing that says she wasn’t born with a condition, it’s the last piece that unites me with parents and doesn’t make me the “mum with a disabled child”. 

My girl isn’t toddlering around and starting to say words, and is no where near this like my email said, but she did learn to clap this week and that is such a huge step! 

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