It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
I absolutely love Christmas; the food, the presents and the decorations. The general joy that most people have. The giving and general generosity.
To MO it is one of the worst times of year.
Our house doesn’t have any sparkles, our tree is decorated with wool and felt decorations; to aid in the sensory processing. Our fairy lights are set to a soft twinkle as we have found this is the pattern that MO relaxes with. The blankets are out and soft and readily available.
Yet outside our house are; crowds, the shops are noisy and jam packed with objects to sell.
The lights in every high street, the tinsel that reflects all the lights and are uneven in hanging generally, which for anyone with OCD can cause extreme anxiety.
Routines are changed at school.
All week MO and the others in the infant classes have been practicing their Christmas play. A Christmas play that is noisy, chaotic and new.
Today the school had their Christmas Fair. I felt that it was crazy, people everywhere, bumping into each other. The school had tables and furniture moved to have space for games and stalls. You moved and were touched by people around you.
He had his ear defenders on. Yet he was still stimming, he was still feeling uncomfortable, he still flapped his arms. He still couldn’t handle the chaos of the stalls.
Dad was Father Christmas today and we had warned him this was the case, and still he couldn’t control his anxieties. He still kept his arms up like a t-Rex.
After seeing Father Christmas I went into his normal classroom that thankfully was empty. I sat him in the quiet zone and I just sat and let him rock, I just sat and counted quietly and calmly. I just sat and let him be him. No pressure. No forcing him to do something he couldn’t at that point.
I just can’t believe little things always catch me off guard with MO. Everything was saying today was going to be a bad day, and yet because he was excited I didn’t think about it or plan sufficiently for the fair.
I have known MO was autistic for awhile and have made life style changes throughout our everyday lives and yet I still fail him.
I just wish my boy was comfortable most of the time not just some of the time