In my parenting life of nearly 9 years, I’ve celebrated so many firsts! I even celebrated each child’s last nappy being used!
The kids have started to ask what their first words were. I know BGs was “more”, but my memory is slightly hazy on the other 2. I have to look into their baby books there I find out MO’s was “no” and SB’s was “yes”.
I then get a little nostalgic and I look at all the baby books and see BG’s full of photos, words and memories. I go onto MO’s and there are a few photos it’s sort of 80% full. SB’s has his basic details in and that it… BBG well hers is still untouched.
I look at the baby classes I did. BG was in so many! Baby sensory, sing and sign, swimming lessons, different toddler groups, baby massage… the list is endless. For the other children they have only done Baby Sensory classes.
I look back however and although the baby development milestones are commented on and documented so much for BG its interesting to see that there are more pictures of MO and SB on their first days of school. There are more pictures of SB as a toddler then the others. Don’t even get me started on BBG and her photos!
It’s not that I love any particular stage over any other… I don’t love any of my kiddies more then any other. Just life has made it that my eldest had a lot more one to one at the start, she was my only baby, the only one demanding my attention. As her siblings joined my attention was split, getting a picture of a child by themselves was a lot harder and seeing the siblings play together was a memory I wanted to keep, plus as siblings they do everything together. As each child went to school the younger sibling finally got their one to one time.
I feel so much mummy guilt over this as I want to make sure I treat all the kids as equal as possible and yet I just can’t.
I just hope when they grow up they realise I love them all the same and I try my best for all of them and all their individual needs.