I went to a birthday party with our girl the other week and it was the first time I had really been in a position where people weren’t truly aware of her condition. I had never met any of the other parents or children and so I made the decision not to talk to people about my daughter’s condition.
I told my husband when I got home and said that when people asked how old she was and indicated that she was probably around 10 months old, I didn’t correct them. He questioned why?
My answer is simple.
I didn’t want to.
All day every day I live with the fact my daughter is special. Everyone I meet up with asks how she is doing or gives me the sympathetic look that I wish didn’t exist. My whole life reminds me my daughter isn’t like her peers.
When you turn into a mother you turn into ‘little Sally’s Mummy’ and you loose your identity. When you are a mother to a child with extra needs your, ‘the mum with an ill baby’. Although I love to advocate for my daughter and to teach people about her and her condition (even if it isn’t diagnosed yet), at that party where there was just strangers that I am never going to see again all I wanted to do was have people look at my daughter like she was another baby, look at my daughter and myself as if we were one of them. She will soon be too big and people will instantly see that she is different, and people will stare and look and point and for this 2 hours I wanted her to be normal. I wanted to talk normally about lack of sleep, about weaning.
My husband just starred and asked if I am ashamed of my daughter. The answer to that is NO!
I will never be ashamed of my daughter, I never could be she is amazing, just at that point it wasn’t the time or the place to discuss my daughters condition. This party was a time of parents and children being happy and celebrating a little girls birthday not about how my daughter has a condition.